It's such a long story... My dad is thinking of moving to Indonesia as he might want to work there in a Christian school and do what he likes to do the last of his working years.. I can't accept it. I just can't. It's just out of my mind! He said either I follow them to an Indonesian university or be left all alone in Singapore to complete my studies. I can't imagine life all alone! My sis and mum will either stay with me or go with my dad. But frankly, I'd rather them go with my dad and take care of him vos it's a whole new place over there.. But I really can't believe this is happening to me.. Thinking about spending my life in a hostel without my family, without weekly family lunches and dinners, no more meals together, just makes me feel so sad and I help but cry whenever I think about this topic!
My dad said if it's God's will he will go and bring my sis and mum along where my sis will probably go to an international school. But God, I know this is bad but I can't surrender my family :( I have always pitied my friends whose dad travels so often, whose parents live in another country from them and bow if u go, I won't be any different. This is not a question about independence but tr issue of loneliness. I already always feel so lonely now and without my family I would be even worst! I know I musnt keep thinking about myself and the family in general but my dad who has sacrificed so much for us... but not this way please? I really hate to see myself part from my family or even stay away from them.. I really don't want it God.. Up till now, I just can't bring myself to accept it even if it is your will, I know I'm supposed to accept it but I just can't.. But god if it really is your will, help me to accept it.. :(
Dad says he may even leave with kris and mum this august :( this is too sudden srsly! I feel so depressed just thinking about it I can't even concentrate on my work and my stuff!!!
