I don't know why. my life is really becoming a mess. I'm like controlling.
SHE doesn't understand how hard I try. I'm already slogging till I'm falling sick so often, just that I kept it from you. why? I didn't want you to worry. However, you don't seem to acknowledge my efforts, I know I'm doing it for myself, but you know how important to ME, what you think about ME and this? You just don't understand.
Actually, I was quite confused at the sudden questions in my changed self. when it just came to my senses why I'm not me. It's you. and stuff.
And sorry, for those who asked me why I am not myself and acting abnormally.
I hate to start it during the eve of a happy or rather, a joyous occasion. However, this occasion has lost it's effect and excitement it had USED TO bring upon me.
I feel that I am plagued with many undesirable stuff. why? why is it always me?
You know I feel like crying? I am.
I hate this feeling, and why must it always come to me?
Today. Terrible start and end. somehow, links to you again.
It really hurts, a lot. Please try to understand, will you?
Ands it is head spinning to try to explain things in detail to you.
It all boils down to. you not trying to understand.
我想:现在我讲话，可能对你来说，是没头没尾的，或者，可能你不晓得我在讲什么，因为我不想告诉任何人。
